Me, W, BFF, strong-neighbor, and religious-friend, loaded and unloaded some large items at my rental house. It was first time all but W had seen new place. Guys loved the downstairs "man cave" w/ black leather couch, dark ceiling and surround sound installed from previous tenants. Girls loved the cute kitchen and charm that can only be found in a little old house.
Strong-neighbor was kinda quiet and made a comment, "This is kinda weird. Everyone's happy." I wouldn't say we were "happy" but we were getting along, helpful, etc. and girls were talking up the cute thing about the house.
W and I were talking later and we realized he was probably going through old memories of his parents divorce. I think it was a rough one. We discussed how some friends have trouble getting close since learning about our sitch. W said she has a few friends who never call anymore. I said, "It's something we're going to have to deal with. People are scared for their own marriage; afraid they have to take a side; worried about a 'toxic' situation of anger or blame; Or yes, they have judgement."
Afterwards religious-friend and I went out for coffee. It was funny he immediately noticed BFF was "kind of a control freak". No reeeeally! "Yeah, W is in for a handful."
Anyway, there's still some more stuff to move around tomorrow but most of the big stuff is done. Next weekend will work on set up and move in. W said she and girlfren' (not bff but another) would be willing to help. I told 'em if you two want to help with the kitchen and bedroom (nice new red sheets W bought me - my color choice) I would appreciate it. But don't go near the "Man Cave"!!
W and BFF left for din but W will be back later this evening and we're planning do the ol' movie-and-glass-a-wine-on-the-couch thing. (maybe I'll throw in a foot rub if she let's me)
Last edited by orangedog; 05/25/0903:33 AM.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Yeah, I've been considering whether it was the right thing or not. No clear answer but I went for it anyway.
1. Glass of wine and movie was her idea. Film was my choice ("The Wrestler" with Mickey Rourke) and so was foot rub.
2. Past history with feet: Started out as a kind expression of touch that we liked doing for one another (indeed for a while footrubs were a baby step towards intimacy) but later on it became kind of an obligation. I didn't like it anymore and so they grew scarce.
Last night was a chance for me to turn it around and say 'I want to do this for you.' (I know..dangerous..pursuing).
When I told her, "Kick your feet up here and I'll give you a foot rub." her response was "Really?", "Yeah, I haven't done it in a long time." She leaned the couch way back, relaxed, and closed her eyes. (I think that means she liked it).
3. As I said earlier, we only have a few more nights in this house together. If she wants to spend time with me (movie) then I will make the experience rich for her. next month will be lonely enough for both of us.
Last edited by orangedog; 05/25/0906:10 PM.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Yesterday finished up most of the moving. W, BFF, and Fling helped move some stuff. Went pretty smooth.
W and I talked a little throughout the day and had a few laughs.
At the end of the day we invited everyone over for grilling and beers. W brought along Girlfren'. I planned up a menu lightning fast and burned up all sorts of goodies. It was a perfect evening, warm and calm. Good conversation with W and Girlfren'.
After everyone went home we went upstairs and watched some pointless tv together and I rubbed her feet. At the end of the evening big hugs. I thanked her for helping out. She thanked me for doing the man-grill thing and just 'everything in the world'. We held hands and said a few tender things to each other about being there for one another. There was a feeling of warmth between us that hadn't been there since I don't know when.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
W bought a bed for the kids and had it delivered to my house.
W suggested when kids come back on the 6th, we will bring them over to my house, have a family day there, grill, etc, and have them sleep there.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
