You're right about me feeling like a loser. I truly believe that at the moment, there does not appear to be any light at the end of the tunnel. I love my wife more than anything, I miss my children, I do not have any family for support, therefore I feel very insecure, isolated and lonely.
I just see my wife with her new figure, new clothes and new lifestyle, living in the marital home I re-built and decorated, and it is really getting to me. She is going out with friends and having a great time, while I am still in utter turmoil and am hurting so badly. I know I must forget her and concentrate on me and the children, but it is impossible to try and forget the one person who has been a part of you for 15 years. The one person I adore but never told her often enough, the person I neglected over the years.....
I go to the gym, I try and get out but it is difficult as most of my friends were OUR friends and they knew my wife before me. I am trying to occupy my time with other things but I am finding it tough as I am suffering from depression and its hard to get motivated.
Thanks again FF, I know I cannot say or do anything to my wife that makes any difference, I just have to look at me but even now all I can think of is my wife and what she is up to.
Does being more of a man ie. making decisions that she does not like but I need to make for the sake of my own self respect make a difference? I have enabled her to take this course of action (divorce) without much fight from me for fear of her pulling even further away. Would she think more or less of me if I stand my ground on something I feel is important?
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
