the emotional affair continues, often online, often in clandestine emails, the lovers desperately contact one another expressing so much regret and desire for the other but it just "wasn't meant to be". the person who had the affair is sitll in a complete FOG of unreality and regretting giving up the OP who gave them so much emotionally, fed their souls,lit them on fire physically (due to the DRAMA) and hung on their every single utter WORD.
HOW AMAZING it was to be so completely wanted, and desired, and constantly thought about, this person is PINING for you and NEEDS you and they wanted to BE WITH YOU and be your EVERYTHING and maybe you made a BIG MISTAKE.
but you tell yourself you are doing the right thing and trying to work on your marriage when in fact your not working on it at all your still caught up in the DRAMA OF YOUR LOST LOVE, and this is not LOST on your w or h, who can READ you ever so much more better than you THINK after all these years, and sees you sad and melancholy and your regret, and BURNS inside.
You as the affair person are OBLIVIOUS to their pain, their knowing, and their utter sorrow that YOU seem to still be in LOVE with the OP. If asked the affair person will deny it and naysay it but they keep staring out windows. listening to sad songs; staring off into space.
The w or h has to put up with this for an UNTOLD time swallowing their prides, telling themselves its all worth it, saying "they're back, thats all that matters". inside they are falling apart and their egos are destroyed. In their gratefulness to have their partner back they overlook all the hurt, all the sighs and obvious discontent, and try to change themselves inside out to make them happy, questioning everything on the inside and too scared to voice it outwardly, incase they run again.
MEANWHILE... the w or h may start to come out of their fog, come around to see their partner, fall in love again, and be desperately sorry. this does happen. but they dont see the damage they did, they dont see the huge pain they caused which went suffering so long with nothing, they dont SEE that their PARTNER who tried for SO LONG and SO HARD to win them back is gradually losing heart, gradually being eroded, gradually questioning if they dont deserve MORE.
AND SO the person cheated on can end up, in a few years time after the AFFAIR, to be the ones discontented, the ones unhappy, the ones looking for answers in OP's.
it can be a full circle and this is my warning, even those who desperately think they want their H or W back can become eroded over time waiting for their H or W to love them again.. and what if you find someone who loves YOU in the meantime.
then its over.
this is what the person who has the affair does not realise or understand and might not, til its alll too late. In the end all sufferer's of affairs need to talk about it and finally let go of all those feelings of resentment and if you dont do it DURING you will do it LATER ON and WOOSH tables reversed.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
