OK for men with wives having an affair, has OM...

[markhaving probs]

Hi FF, Thank you for posting here, you information and insight would be very interesting to hear.

WARNING: this takes a lot to get over and much more than a willingness of wife to make it better. this stuff FESTERS. be careful. once the dust blows down and wife is sorry, amazing how ANGRY you'll get. and I betcha wont tell her. so WORK on yourself after.

Is it something you can TOTALLY get over as my W is involved with OM, we are divorcing and she is totally focused at the moment. No reconcilliation is possible at the moment.


What I am here to do tho, is honestly answer your questions about it if you have any. If you want to know what its like, what goes thru her mind, how it feels, how the guilt is, and what works to MAKE IT END... I pretty much can tell you all that stuff.

How does a Walk Away Wife feel, goes through her mind, guilt, and most importantly to MAKE IT END

I can also try to explain to you the detachment of wife, and the fact she doesnt actually think you NOTICE THAT MUCH (trust me). Women really fool themselves about this, thinking they're doing a pretty good job hiding their detachment quite well! I thought i was an amazing liar. WOW. FAIL. no i wasnt.


What do you mean by a wife does not actually think you NOTICE THAT MUCH, Hiding detachment. My W tries to contact me most days, most of it about the children, other stuff not that important. I think she still wants to try and control my life, not because she cares which seems strange for someone who id divorcing me.

I can explain the drug of the OM, tricks the OM will employ to keep your wife interested and coming back for more AND I can tell you what snapped ME out of my affair. every sitch is completely different, but I wanted to given an honest viewpoint from one whose walked in those shoes, to any itnerested.

I would be very interested here to know ALL of the above. I do not know anything about the OM, but a general womans viewpoint would be interesting to hear, particularly what snapped you out of the affair.

FACT: if you cheat, you will pay for it later on. There is no ifs or buts or 'maybes'. you will pay, pay, and then pay some more. you will pay in guilt, you will pay in shame, you will pay in a lack of self respect; you will lose status in every aspect of your life. I try a lot now, to let people considering straying, to understand these things. Hiding an affair is ridiculous. in the end every single person knows including your family, parents, and kids. but, this is something HARD LEARNED, and no one wants to ADMIT they learnt the hard way so no one actually gets TOLD by someone who IT HAPPENED TO. its a pity bc the more people who open up about this the more healing there will be

My wife is in a fog but she is hiding her affair very well by going away from the local area, says she is staying with friends, turns her mobile off etc, etc. I believe she does not want to lose face with me, her family and friends, but what will happen I believe is this OM will appear all of a sudden once we are divorced after a short period of time. I might be wrong, but this is what I believe will happen.

FF, I look forward to your response.