Im on this forum for my own issues but I notice others pain. Once, I had an affair; when we were 12 years into our marriage. I married at 18 years old to my ONLY LOVE and ONLY BOYFRIEND. we had three chilren.

did we recover? um well 4 years later he walked out so... even tho I thought we'd worked thru it, probably not. I think even HE thought so at the time. WARNING: this takes a lot to get over and much more than a willingness of wife to make it better. this stuff FESTERS. be careful. once the dust blows down and wife is sorry, amazing how ANGRY you'll get. and I betcha wont tell her. so WORK on yourself after.

What I am here to do tho, is honestly answer your questions about it if you have any. If you want to know what its like, what goes thru her mind, how it feels, how the guilt is, and what works to MAKE IT END... I pretty much can tell you all that stuff.

I can also try to explain to you the detachment of wife, and the fact she doesnt actually think you NOTICE THAT MUCH (trust me). Women really fool themselves about this, thinking they're doing a pretty good job hiding their detachment quite well! I thought i was an amazing liar. WOW. FAIL. no i wasnt.

I can explain the drug of the OM, tricks the OM will employ to keep your wife interested and coming back for more AND I can tell you what snapped ME out of my affair. every sitch is completely different, but I wanted to given an honest viewpoint from one whose walked in those shoes, to any itnerested.

FACT: if you cheat, you will pay for it later on. There is no ifs or buts or 'maybes'. you will pay, pay, and then pay some more. you will pay in guilt, you will pay in shame, you will pay in a lack of self respect; you will lose status in every aspect of your life. I try a lot now, to let people considering straying, to understand these things. Hiding an affair is ridiculous. in the end every single person knows including your family, parents, and kids. but, this is something HARD LEARNED, and no one wants to ADMIT they learnt the hard way so no one actually gets TOLD by someone who IT HAPPENED TO. its a pity bc the more people who open up about this the more healing there will be

im tellin \:\)

When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.