Snodderly thank you for stopping by. I thought you were not going to post to me anymore. Somedays I feel like I am healing and then others I dont. It just comes out of no where and I end up depressed. I had to work today but tomorrow I plan on cooking out somewhere with somebody. My focus is still on xh, not so much other woman, as for I have realized something. My xh is living and engaged to a woman that I think he is settling for. I have come to the conclusion though that he is in love or fasinated with another. I, as you know, have decided to stand for my family and marriage...but the sad thing is, if my xh and gf broke it off today, I dont think our marriage is what he would pursue. I think it would be this other woman, that he once went out with. Let me tell you a little further into this........ Awhile back I said to you all that the "ow" was trying to befriend me, well this is the woman I am talking about. She is the one that I emailed early on in my sitch and after speaking with me, she stopped the relationship with my xh.(She didnt know we were still married). She says she was going to anyway but just moved it up. She has since been calling me and we have got to be friends. We will go out to eat and she will always pay. She is constantly doing nice things for me. She wants me to heal and move on. She DOES NOT LIKE my xh at all and, to me and others, has not got a very nice opinion about him. She really is nice. I dont usually befriend someone that has slept with my h, now xh, but she seemed nice. Just lately though It has started bothering me a little. I still think alot of her but some things are starting to settle on my mind. For one, I am beginning to think alot about her "sleeping with my xh", and lately I have realized my xh probably would run to her, instead of me, if she would take him back....and she agrees! I think this bothers me more than I think. I also think I became just good friends to her to hold on to a little piece of my xh. She works with xh, therefore keeps me informed. I know this cant be good. She saw my xh and gf last night and said my xh was peering over my xh and looking at her several times. I cant figure out why she tells me this. I mean the part about how my xh is still into her. (not in so many words, but you know what I mean). Its ok to tell me how much he was wrong in what he has done but all this stuff about her hurts me. I did tell her how I felt and she said she was sorry, that she would never have him. BUT he would have her, at least I think he would. I think I have gotten use to her keeping me informed about him, without even realizing what I am doing. She told me lately that he looks miserable. I never get to see him, so I am using her eyes...so to speak.
Snodderly as for spending time with my family. My older son stays in his room most of the time and only comes down for just a few min. then back up again. He usually stays on the comp. playing games. My nephew likes to spend time with our aunt on weekdends, so I am pretty much on my own. I have no one else other than my aunt and cousins near me. I have friends, but most of them have families to do things with on most occasions. (This is part of the reason why I got close to the ow, she is single too). I do intend to cookout though. Go ahead and give me advice, but be as gentle as you can.
