Help! Want direct feedback from walk away wive/s

[BigJohn]

That is exactly the situation I was in, except I didn't know my W was having an EA. She said she would stick around to "see how I improved" and "see if her feelings change". What a joke. I beat myself up and nearly killed myself trying to become "super husband" while she stood back and just said "Nah, not good enough." I eventually found out about the EA, my W moved out, and it became a PA.

Working on your M is impossible while EA is going on. It will destroy your self confidence and self esteem if you try, because it's like ramming against a brick wall.

I read some of your prior threads. The OM in my sitch is two states away, so for now it's just an EA- phone calls, texting, email, etc. What's amazing is what a friggin loser this guy is!!- fat, UGLY, criminal background including assaulting an ex-girlfriend- 40 yes. old and never married, etc.- HELLO, RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE-(The exact OPPOSITE of me- my main sin being that I worked too damn hard and didn't spend enough time with my wife.) But according to her, he "says all the right things" and "I really like how he treats me." Unbelieveable. The psychology behind these EA's is astonishing- it's like my wife is self-brainwashing herself. I am very concerned that she may eventually be working towards some sort of self-fulfilling prophesy, which is why I'm looking for some direct feedback from women in this forum who have been caught up in an EA/PA.