One Step Up, Two Steps Back

[iamlost]

Puppy,

I ain't trying to fight with you or put you down, just trying to point out something that I think I see that I think you're not. I'm not saying your W is all peaches-and-cream, it's just the vibe I get from you regarding her is...very negative. I know that's cause you're hurting. But...I'm trying to introduce a little empathy back in, as well an explanation other than "my wife is a cold, narcissistic Princess who doesn't give a flip about me"--an explanation I don't really think you want and isn't true besides. You do have a role to play in this, and it's not just the victim. If you want to see, you have to be willing to see, right?

I have so NOT lorded this over her it's not even funny

I dredged this quote up from one of your old threads:

In short, I am treating her as Jesus Himself would treat her if He were standing right here: "I'm here for you, but you have to turn away from this path you are on."

OK, when I read those two quotes above together, I see a direct contradiction.

My family has been nothing but kind and forgiving to her

I thought of your loss of good health, my loss of you and of our loss of this time together, and I was still grateful for our situation as compared to [Puppy's]. We may not have celebrated our love to the full extend our numbered days would have encouraged, but we almost always knew it had and would sustain us - even through our difficulties. I knew you loved me, and knew you saw our marriage vows as sacred. I might get angry or frustrated, and/or know you were feeling the same, but I knew you would never betray our bond. I also know you were able to count on me in this same way.

Again, I see a contradiction between those two quotes.

Trust me, you may not think your W can sense the way you claim to see her here (amoral, narcissistic, shallow) or the way your family sees her, but if it's coming across so loud and clear here, I truthfully can't imagine how deafening it is to her in RL.