I don't think asking one question is begging. Or sharing your thoughts on that. Obviously her not wearing it has nothing to do with forgetting, and for you to ask her about that is begging? I don't mean yelling or whatever, but simply asking what's going on about that?
I ain't trying to fight with you or put you down, just trying to point out something that I think I see that I think you're not. I'm not saying your W is all peaches-and-cream, it's just the vibe I get from you regarding her is...very negative. I know that's cause you're hurting. But...I'm trying to introduce a little empathy back in, as well an explanation other than "my wife is a cold, narcissistic Princess who doesn't give a flip about me"--an explanation I don't really think you want and isn't true besides. You do have a role to play in this, and it's not just the victim. If you want to see, you have to be willing to see, right?
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
I have so NOT lorded this over her it's not even funny
I dredged this quote up from one of your old threads:
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
In short, I am treating her as Jesus Himself would treat her if He were standing right here: "I'm here for you, but you have to turn away from this path you are on."
OK, when I read those two quotes above together, I see a direct contradiction.
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
My family has been nothing but kind and forgiving to her
Originally Posted By: Puppy's Bro
I thought of your loss of good health, my loss of you and of our loss of this time together, and I was still grateful for our situation as compared to [Puppy's]. We may not have celebrated our love to the full extend our numbered days would have encouraged, but we almost always knew it had and would sustain us - even through our difficulties. I knew you loved me, and knew you saw our marriage vows as sacred. I might get angry or frustrated, and/or know you were feeling the same, but I knew you would never betray our bond. I also know you were able to count on me in this same way.
Again, I see a contradiction between those two quotes.
Trust me, you may not think your W can sense the way you claim to see her here (amoral, narcissistic, shallow) or the way your family sees her, but if it's coming across so loud and clear here, I truthfully can't imagine how deafening it is to her in RL.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
I don't think asking one question is begging. Or sharing your thoughts on that. Obviously her not wearing it has nothing to do with forgetting, and for you to ask her about that is begging? I don't mean yelling or whatever, but simply asking what's going on about that?
OK then, "nagging." I don't intend to nag my wife into wearing her ring, which is supposed to be a symbol of her commitment to me. I've told her before how I felt about it (as recently as two weeks ago, when we re-re-reconciled), and I called her on it today. And as soon as she had a chance to do something about it, as we were going out, she still didn't have it on.
I'm not going to say anything else. If she asks me why I don't have MINE on, I will tell her because I'm not going to be the only one in this marriage projecting to the outside world that I AM married, and tell her "Here, in fact you can have it. Why don't you give it back to me when you're ready to be fully committed to this marriage."
I don't understand her actions. If you've made your feelings clear, then I agree with you. I've always said she needs IC, and that hasn't changed. What are you thinking?
I could have told you that! You know in some ways I think it's easier for me to have a D than stay in the R and work on it, not that I ever had that choice bywim. But if your W does do IC and makes changes, then it's worth it, right?
You know in some ways I think it's easier for me to have a D than stay in the R and work on it, not that I ever had that choice bywim. But if your W does do IC and makes changes, then it's worth it, right?