As you know, am back and all caught up on your sitch now. How'd the argument about parental alienation go, or are you still waiting?
IS the "not until fall" timeline due to another forensic appraisal or what? WTH?! And will your "From now on" earnings be used as part of the marital assets? There are ways for you to increase the AR's but again, will those count as mutually owned assets or what? Can't believe NY laws. Aren't they the ONLY ones who do this? Geez, I hate how EASY it is to divorce everywhere else and how hard it is to div THERE...wth??
Don't know how SHE does it either, b/c I know you do it all b/c you are sane and love your kids, but her anger and vitriol must be consuming her, as is her self loathing. So, despite how hard it must be for YOU, I cannot imagine how she gets through her days...
Honey don't take ANY of your son's "hero is my mom" words as anything negative about you. Good grief, it was near Mother'd Day AND it sounded to me like she was defending and explaining her choices to him and playing the victim. I tell my kids good stuff from my childhood (unless I am playing the "you have it so much easier than I did" card...very useful).
The co-dependency comment you made earlier is a real flag for many here. Gets lots of reactions. And fears. No one who knows YOU thinks you're being an ass when you refer to the Alpha Male and "no more MrNice Guy" stuff. It's the guys looking for excuses to dominate and control that scare the heck out of so many women who'd be on the streets if they had let their h's "lead" them down the road of ruin. We know you. You're fine.
Doesn't mean your words won't haunt. Loved the "see me nekked" comment! SAME FEARS we all have of ever dating OP. Naturally, we assume they'll all look & expect US to look like the Hollywood "50" y/o's on TV and NOT like the ones we actually know. Does Meryl Streep have stretch marks? Brad Pitt? This is of course, a very serious matter. FIB could run into Meryl, and her h could die. So....see?
Will talk to you soon. You're doing remarkably well. xoxo (( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Hey 25, long time. FIB, are you ok? Listen, those of us who have come to "know" you, know what you stand for, know what type of man you are.
You could do this. You will do it. Take it one step at a time. In the meantime, do you think your w would get mad if you mistakenly washed her colored clothes with some bleach?
Ok, that wasnt nice. But it amused me for a second.
HI all....it was a horrible weekend at points, thanks to STBXW. I believe her new method is now 'granstanding', or, intentionally making public displays against me.
This is a tough post...just an update. Too many details.
After my son's recorder concert last Thursday, my STBXW pulled my daughter out of my hands in front of 4 mom's from our baseball team and the across the street neighbor's MIL. The gasps were audible from them. The MIL looked at me and said, "you really made a mistake, didn't you?" She also yelled at me in front of the parents selling tickets for ice cream to 'release her'..."you're keeping me from her" when I picked up my D6 to comfort her when she had a gas pain.
Yesterday, we divided up the weekend so that Monday was my day with the kids BUT..she was going to go to the Cub Scout parade our son was in. When I told her that I was taking the kids out to McD's for breakfast...and this is bizarre...she insisted that she WAS GOING TOO???? What the....????? I respectfully told her that I was having time with the kids and she made a scene in front of the kids. I had two choices: eat it....or call the police for stalking. Obviously, I chose the former. She followed us. The following was said in front of my children at the breakfast table at McD's:
Originally Posted By: STBXW
Satan himself couldn't keep me from seeing my kids and he is sitting in front of me now.
At the den mother's house, the DM said, "OK, FIB, you take 'Sally' (her daughter) and D6 in your car....." No sooner did that leave her lips than STBXW raised her voice at me in front of 6 parents...that she knew nothing about this...that they were going with her...and then dragged 'Sally' and D6 out to her car and sat there with the car idling. I had to apologize in front of all the parents for her display...and..told the DM that it was better that the kids went with her to avoid any hurt to the children. They seemed supportive and later...faced with what just happened...I opened up a little bit to her husband without giving gory details. Any normal healthy parent who had any disagreement as to any arrangement would have simply said, "let's step outside to discuss this."
She is now grandstanding.
I went to my office late last night to submit those two episodes. Clearly...she can't see how much this hurts the kids.
Finally, my STBXW submitted in her affidavit that I slept with my kids on at least five occasions. I don't sleep with my children...they come in in the middle of the night...nightmares, separation anxiety, etc. Besides...we all know by now that THAT claim is a bunch of BS. Well, this morning, I came upstairs to get ready for work early and.....there is my STBXW in bed sleeping with my son.
Hmmmmmm.....
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
As much as this is nearly unbearable for you, it seems the longer it goes on, the more likely her irrational anger is going to go against her. You are doing the best thing by not being confrontational with her.
It is a shame that your kids are having to witness their mother like this.
(sigh)..Kerry.....I don't know what to do anymore except just facilitate what is going on and file this cross motion for the judge to order counseling. She is now constantly in my face and making scenes in public. All I can do is hang on and let my L know what's going on and counsel me as to what is the best approach.
This woman's anger will never go away. Funny thing....she wanted out...she had the PA's...yet I am to be punished for it.
S'OK. I feel sorry for her.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
(sigh) though I agree with Kerry, the lawyer in me makes me paranoid. Be so careful. That "he slept with kids 5 times" freaks me out big time. I practiced criminal law years ago, but had 300 cases and specialized in child sex offenders. OF COURSE you're not one of them BUT of the 7 or 8 truly innocent clients I defended, guess what their "crimes" were? Yes, every one of my truly, factually/morally innocent clients who were wrongly convicted of crimes, were accused of things like this and they were ALL from ex w's or ex MIL's...
Be careful my friend, don't put ANYTHING PAST HER...and don't assume a social worker or "family services" will necessarily believe you. Sometime when you feel like getting really depressed, read up on the Mcmartin cases wherein some innocent day care workers were arrested and convicted of sex crimes based on the weakest evidence and most suggestive social worker's "interviews" ever seen. Though the cases were finally overturned on appeal AND many states have changed their approaches to those types of cases based on the court's rulings, those defendants lives were ruined and years were stolen from them.
Forget about the sleeping with, for now. And don't have unwitnessed sleep overs I guess, and Do start taking your own pictures and logs of her behavior (not b/c you want to use them against her but b/c you want to show her IF NEED BE, that you are not powerless here).
She's feeling threatened and cornered. You're a doctor and she knows you won't starve. In her mind, you'll "Find some bimbo" that will believe in you AND she might be "out on the streets" or have her "Children stolen from her" by you, the unsavory father of the year, are the thief. Wait, I'm sorry. I mean SATAN...
Please write that one down. If calling you Satan doesn't count as "parental alienation", even in NYC, then what does? (someday there'll be a joke there but it's too painful and close to home right now and I get that....).
Sorry Frank, sooo sorry.
(((( )))) j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
FIB, You need to be extremely wary of her every move. This woman seems like an emotional time bomb. Perhaps file something with the court that the situation has gotten intolerable and get an Order to Show Cause for her to move out. I know you are afraid of things dragging on if you do so but it could drag on this way as well and cause you more grief she she accuses you of something or other. It is important to have other people around when interacting with her otherwise be on your cellphone with someone or carry a voice recorder. There is only so far you or any man can go when constantly provoked.
