I know we've already talked, but I thought I'd reiterate some of my thoughts for the bb, plus a few others.
First off, I think you're just out of practice as far as how to think about and handle communication with him b/c you haven't had much in a while, and that you were feeling off balance about the new R (it's so much easier in a way never hearing from them and just living your life). Plus this communication happened when your defenses were low b/c of these recent losses. So back to basics (it seems that's what you're doing): don't assume you know what's in his head or what's going to happen, detach, focus on you, back to G's Life Already in Progress. Give yourself time to grieve for your dad and your beloved pet and realize that of course the feelings you're having about them will necessarily cause you to revisit the feelings of losing H -- and that you will get thru that.
About his wanting contact. ITA w/ snodderly that knowing that you're "there" probably gives him a feeling of security. It's up to you whether you want to be there or not.
Finally, given the role contact w/ an XGF played in the demise of my M (H is now M to her) -- not to mention all the coaching on this BB cautioning against returning Hs keeping in contact w/ Xs -- I can certainly understand a new GF insisting on no contact w/ you. She may have been burned before.
-- Karen
P.S. - To those who say you have to believe and pray to get your M back, while I agree you must ask to receive, I have also come to learn that it is absolute hubris to assume that we know God's plan for us or what's best for us. The better prayer, IMHO, is "thy will be done." There may be a better plan for you than anything you can imagine.
