GG, They want to know that you are still out there. They want to ensure that you are not angry or hate them, for they cannot bear the thought of us hating them for what they've done...the guilt has actually helped them to communicate w/us once all of the anger has died down.
Yes, they want to see us, talk to us and have communication w/us because they know that they have royally screwed up. They are curious as to how we have managed to cope and move on w/our lives. I can also say that if you were to mention to your xh that you were seeing someone seriously, the entire "dance of communication" would change. Once they know that someone is in your life, communication will dwindle. As long as they know you are still single, living on your own and available to listen to them, validate them, etc., they will continue to communicate and keep you on a string, hoping against hope that you will always be there for them and only them. It's called keeping all of their options open and available.
Live your life to the fullest and know that some day the man that was/is meant for you will appear unexpectedly. As for your xh, he is a broken man who hasn't grown up yet and may never do so. He is still looking for you "mom" to be there to pick him up when he falls down.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
