I feel so alone. In my mind and heart I belong to a family of 5 but in reality there is just me. My children are growing (in some cases grown) and doing all that they should be for teenagers. I thought I was lonely in my marriage but this feeling surpasses all of that.
Friendship has never come easy to me and now is no exception. I seem to be able to make friends but I can't name one life long friend. They are all transient relationships. I sometimes think it's b/c I am a bad person. Deep down I know I'm not but it doesn't change the fact that apart from when I am at work I spend nearly all of my time alone.
Those of you who follow my thread will know how hard I have tried to carve out a new life for myself. I've joined social networking clubs, I've taken classes, I've got myself a better education BUT for what?
I'm not looking for sympathy. I just come here to type how I feel b/c if I don't 'voice' it somehow I will go mad.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
