Poet thanks for your reply-hope you didnt think I was being "nosey" My H also timed it dreadfully- just as I was about to retire, sell the house and relocate to my home town and family,and days before my (58th) birthday.He said we both needed to "get a life and an adult relationship "and when I asked if he wanted a divorce he flustered and said he couldnt think of another way.Then, 6 months later when it was about to be finalised he said I had changed and asked for a hold. Naturally I agreed .I have worked so hard for the last 2 years to hang on . I love this weak and selfish man - I can see a good but confused person inside.I see what you mean about doing nothing to ease the guilt but in my case he ran from the guilt ie withdrew completely so all I c ould do was validate his feelings and be sympathetic even though he broke my heart and the pain and panic were appalling.Now, I have no option but to file because I cant afford to rent any longer- I need settlement to get a home.He is living with OW .There has been silence for 3 months. I can feel his fear and confusion 200 miles away!Snodderly, as usual spot on- I would bet that when he hits 60 in a couple of years time he will need his best friend. For now, he cant face me (or my family)Poet, I know everyone says this but its true- life goes on and somehow we will survive.Im hoping so much things are ok with you and every day gets a little easier. After all, we both have clear consciences- they have years ahead to face up to their mistakes.Love from England!
