I am just sitting here relaxing and some things just crossed my mind and I wanted to post them.
For one, I CANNOT believe that my xh has given up the one thing he loved most other than his family and that is his love for fishing. During the years we were married he always took time off to go fishing with his buddies for a week...guy time! He also would take my son for his birthday when he was old enough. He would ask me on Thurs. nights, do you care if I go fish this tournament. I would always say, you know I dont care. His buddy would pull up with the boat and we had this little thing we always did. I would say if you dont "win" you are not going back and he would say OK and laugh. He started winning, so we did this for luck. He said fishing relaxed him, gave him a release from the stress of work (police) and Fire Dept. (where he was a vol. chief). My xh did have alot of responbilities, but I always thought he enjoyed it and I think he did, but when he lost his job he became very very unhappy inside. He didnt show it but he was sooooo disappointed. He would say things like "its the best thing that ever happened to me, I am sooo stress free, and me and Renee have gotten along better than we ever have." He would say this and I would agree. I know he was trying to save face and be strong and not let it show. I really dont know why he put the part in about us getting along better. I guess cause alot of people know that being a cop and or fire chief can add stress to a marriage, not to mention everything else. He was so hiding it though, it didnt lesson the stress but made it sooooo much greater. Although I wont tell him now, (maybe someday), but he has disappointed me so much by running away. He could have been jobless and we could live in a camper in a park and I would never have been this disappointed. He ran away from the stress and responsibility of it all. He said to me a few weeks ago that he thought we had a pretty good marriage, and that he never planned on getting remarried at all, especially not this soon. He said everything that happened to us was 50% his fault. Ok just wanted to write down my thoughts. Thinks for listening.
