WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 9

[confusedinpa]

Just some journaling.

On Friday, I had gotten a couple of emails/calls from her. I didn't answer except when she called right before lunch. I wasn't sure if she was calling to go out to lunch or what (I already had planned with my friend) but I answered it while I was in the truck. She had called to follow up on her email about soemthing tactical. I just said ok and ended the call quickly.

After lunch she emailed me a couple more things about her dad and other stuff. Her dad just got laid off that day so that was the only one I responded to as "That must be really hard for him" - I waited about 45 minutes before I replied. She responded right away with a few gripes/comments. I didn't respond.

Then when the boys and I were heading out to dinner, she sent me an email complaining about how she was till at work and griping about how her boss was looking for a report. I waited about 30 minutes and just responded with "Tough way to start a long weekend". She responded right away that she just got done. I didn't respond and she didn't call that nite.

On Sat she came over for the boy's B'day party. She showed up about 15 minutes early with food and other stuff that she prepared. We both hurried to get setup. It almost seemed like she had still lived there and she hadn't filed for divorce. She did remark on a few changes that I made to the house since she left that she liked. She even called me "Hun" a couple of times (probably just a slip of the tongue or habit).

I thought things were going relatively well but did notice that her mom was glaring/frowning at me often and when I would look at her she would turn her head. Whenever I went to talk to my wife about something, she was always there, almost like she was trying to protect her from me and my relatives (about 90% of the people there were my relatives). I just ignored the way she was acting. Her dad was there as well (those were the only 2 of her relatives there).

I spent most of the time with the boys and my friends and relatives that came over. I hadn't seen many of my relatives in almost 6 months. One came in from Denver that I haven't seen in 2 years. It was a really good time and the boys enjoyed being the center of attention for my relatives (I am one of two nephew/niece with kids and my relatives love kids). A couple of my cousins gets along extremely well with her mom as well. Very weird seeing her all chummy with them and wouldn't even look at me in the eye (I really hope she's not steering my wife down this path).

When the party was over, my wife asked about taking some of the toys they had gotten to her apt. My son had asked about taking one item there as we had one already, so I just handed her the item. She said that was it? And started saying how she was tired of having to buy toys for the kids and how they had so much here but hardly anything there. She said that as she was walking out to her car.

I went out there and told her that the boys know they can take whatever they want over there. I am not stopping them. They just have chosen to keep most of their toys at home. She didn't respond.

I then told her that I do appreciate the help she gave in preparing food for the party. She said that she thought things went ok but she did feel awkward.

I validated and then thanked her again and said goodbye.

I wound up calling her later (hold on to the 2x4's!!!) as when I was cleaning up, I couldn't find any of the gift cards or checks that the boys got as gifts. I asked if she knew where they may be as I didn't want to dig through the trash I had already put out. She said that she had taken them by accident and appologized. I just thought - yeah right, accident...

I told her that I was going to take the boys to go buy some things, but would wait till next week then.

She didn't call tonite - and it doesn't bother me at all.

She is picking up the boys tomorrow morning. My oldest tonite asked if I was off on Monday as well. I said I was. He asked if he and his brother could spend time with me that day as well. I said of course, but he would have to ask mommy. He just said never mind then, as he didn't think she would let them. I said you never know unless you ask and left it at that.

I have a busy day planned for Sunday - I'm going to go to church, then attend my small group that I joined and then on to the gym. Then I have to finish cleaning up the house from the party and I'm suppose to go out with my friends Sunday nite to Philly (couldn't do Atlantic City as originally planned as my buddy with the place there wasn't available).

I hope my boys can come visit on Monday. That would really make this weekend. I'll just have to be careful not to be too hung over just in case.....

Hope everyone enjoys the holiday!