WAW1 - Anticipation2

[PositivelyMommy]

Mark, My H also is pis*ed off out of all proportion as well. My C calls it 'contempt'. Whatever it is, DB's philosophy is to take the focus OFF out spouse and put it back on ourselves. To see my positives in ourselves to take one step at a time and walk towards our goal of getting to be a better person, a better parent. The other posters here are right.

So what if you W is spewing negatives at you. You know that she is fogged out, right. This may or may not be a permanent state of mind for your W but if you continue to concentrate on her, you will lose the motivation that you have built up so far. It's time to remove the toxicity from your life. If she is making you feel back about yourself and she won't listen to reason (which is what is happening) then you need to remove yourself from it. Maybe even just pick up kids and leave, no convo. Don't stick around for her to pick a fight with you.

The only thing is, I would not drop in unannouced. I feel that my H feels he has too much right to our family home and if he dropped in unannounced I would not like it either. You do need to respect her 'space' and give a headsup beforehand. You probably expect the same from friends and family. She is trying to draw boundaries. Fine. Let her draw boundaries if she thinks it makes her feel better. She is in a volatile state now, she will be for awhile. You can choose to go head on with her or choose to avoid the volcano. Your choice.

I think sometimes men in general, of course, has a reaction to 'do something' to help fix a woman's problem ,e.g. her lawn issues. But women in their mind is just voicing thoughts and may not necessarily looking for someone to take over the chore. It's a delicate communication between the sexes misunderstanding. Men are from Mars explains this well.

But since you don't live in the home anymore, I would make a mental note in your head to NOT do things for her that is out of the realm of the children. She has chosen to leave you, she has to come to terms with the consequences. Big and small. No other reason than for you to start respecting yourself and not regret being 'made to do' things for her, even though she didn't actually 'make' you but is just complaining verbally. OK? Set boundaries, respect yourself. It will make you feel a whole lot better.