Here are some of my thoughts. I am sure you have heard this before, but.......
I was given a great opportunity for personal growth when my W said she was done. I grabbed that opportunity. I have grown from a boy to a man over the past 15 months. My relationship with my children is SOOOO much better now. All my relationships are better. This process has taught me patience, forgiveness,understanding,compassion,listening,kindness,strength. I am in touch with my feelings. The books I have read are listed on the first post of my thread. I don't NEED anyone else to be happy. I enjoy all the people I come in contact with. I have met some incredible people here on this site as well as in the normal world. I DB my ass of with others so that when I interact with W, it is natural and part of me. I still have a long way to go, but I am continually making positive changes in my life. I always do my best, I don't take other peoples garbage as my own. I let W keep her garbage. I could go on and on.....
Pass out what you want to recieve If you love something, set it free....
Balance: (Fun/work/sleep/exercise) (Time alone/ time with others) (Planning/Doing)
TRYING to do something does not work. TRY to stand up. Now just stand up. Set goals to DO IT.
I will not call W unless the kids have been hurt and need medical attention.
I will go out and meet 1 new person a day. I will smile to all those I come in contact with. I will listen to others. They are interesting. I will eat oatmeal for breakfast. I will be the best father I can be. I will read one new self help book a week.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I am joining a backpacking/hiking group and a divorce support group.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Here are some of my thoughts. I am sure you have heard this before, but.......
I was given a great opportunity for personal growth when my W said she was done. I grabbed that opportunity. I have grown from a boy to a man over the past 15 months. My relationship with my children is SOOOO much better now. All my relationships are better. This process has taught me patience, forgiveness,understanding,compassion,listening,kindness,strength. I am in touch with my feelings. The books I have read are listed on the first post of my thread. I don't NEED anyone else to be happy. I enjoy all the people I come in contact with. I have met some incredible people here on this site as well as in the normal world. I DB my ass of with others so that when I interact with W, it is natural and part of me. I still have a long way to go, but I am continually making positive changes in my life. I always do my best, I don't take other peoples garbage as my own. I let W keep her garbage. I could go on and on.....
Pass out what you want to recieve If you love something, set it free....
Balance: (Fun/work/sleep/exercise) (Time alone/ time with others) (Planning/Doing)
TRYING to do something does not work. TRY to stand up. Now just stand up. Set goals to DO IT.
I will not call W unless the kids have been hurt and need medical attention.
I will go out and meet 1 new person a day. I will smile to all those I come in contact with. I will listen to others. They are interesting. I will eat oatmeal for breakfast. I will be the best father I can be. I will read one new self help book a week.
Love this post. Except for the oatmeal part.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
"I am joining a backpacking/hiking group and a divorce support group."
This is great - but - what do you want your friends to say?
To be honest it looks like you're posting that for some kind of validation, recognition....praise?
You're not going to get that
You're looking for "IT"...you're close to getting "it" but only when you go back and truly take heed of all - ALL of the posters above, will you GET IT...
When you do it'll be like a bomb going off in your head!
I went and got my kitchen table and chairs from SIL's house this morning. Then I took my kids to a place called Sneaky Pete's. It is a bar/resturant with 2 pools and volleyball courts right on the lake. I met a meetup group there. There was supposed to be about 55 people there. About 10 showed up. My girls swam and ate nachos while I mingled back and forth with the group and my girls.
I met a guy there that says he is going to have me whipped back into shape within 1 year. He said change my hair style, get some whitening teeth strips, get a new wardrobe, and start lifting weights. He says all these things will help build my confidence back. He says he coaches other guys on things like this. He also said to shave my back. He said it ain't attractive to have hair on the back. lol. Ok. He asked how old I was. I said 34. He said I looked 40, but he is going to have me back to looking 34 again. He asked me if I lost alot of weight. I said yes, 50 pounds. He said he could tell because my face doesn't quite line up with my weight right now. My face is off compared to the rest of my body. I guess it didn't keep up with the weight loss. Something about lines that haven't flatted yet I guess.
But he said he can change me back to where in one year my W will be saying dang and when she does, I won't want anything to do with her anyways he says. Ok.
Tonite I had problems hooking up my washer and getting the hoses tight enough to not shoot out water. After finally getting them on tight I learned that I had Hot on Cold and Cold on Hot. Nice. I will just remember they are opposites. I'm not going through that again tonite.
I picked up ice cream, popcorn and mexican dominos to play with my kids for tonites event at home.
Tomorrow is church and then my girls are going to go to SIL's house for their cousins going away pool party. I am not invited to stay since MIL will be there and she said she will not come if I am there. MIL actually had the nerve to suggest to D11 that W pick them up and bring them so I am no where around the house. This pissed me off. I told D11 to bad. I will take them and pick them up. MIL can get the heck over it. Who gives a crap what she thinks. So D11 ends up texting her mom to ask if she will take them to SIL's house. I'm tempted to text W back and say thank you for the offer, but I will be dropping them off and picking them up.
I might go to a potluck tomorrow afternoon for another meetup group.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I wasn't doing it to please anyone. I was looking at it to keep myself busy and active with people so I don't stay home and do nothing. I need a life. I can sit at home and accomplish nothing, or I can get out and do things with other people. Thats all.
But I am not looking for praise on that. I was just posting.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Sounds like a good day Kev...do it some more. Getting yourself into 'fighting shape' will make you feel better too. Then you'll have to get some new clothes after you're in better shape. I know some days are better than others...heck, some hours are better than others! Anyway, you did good today.
Do it some more.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Sounds good. I think you should go to the meetup group tomorrow and work on some of that stuff, lifting weights, etc. That prob. would help your self-confidence and appearance, so a good idea. Get a hair cut, buy new clothes, all of it's good for you. Although I have to say that guy sounds a little pushy or something, but still some good ideas.
I think a lot of times us LBS are kind of focused too much on others and our WAS are kind of self-focused. I think it's good for us to focus on ourselves sometimes, healthier for us and our kids too if we're healthier and happier. Karen
Blah blah blah - Kevin - that's all fine - this is your gig dude...you don't need anyone to do it for you - in fact you need to do whatever you need to do for yourself!
Fact is you had a problem - you fixed it! You can do this! You found a guy who can fix it! Kev -you don't have to fix everything! You don't have to be the Mr Fix It...you have other strengths that other men don't have...you can be the Daddy that that other girls don't have...you can be the most wonderful daddy...that other kids are jealous of...cos you're involved and always there! Not like their daddys...
And it doesn't mean you spending $$ on a haircut! I just sheared myself!!!
"I picked up ice cream, popcorn and mexican dominos to play with my kids for tonites event at home."
Fantastic!!!
Kev - you're doing better than you give yourself credit for!!!
Tonite D11 won dominos. Now we are watching Rocky 4. I own the whole series. Its one of my favorite series. Its one of my favorites of all time. Its very inspirational. I draw alot of inspiration from it. Infact, I even recorded the sound track to my MP3 player to listen to while I work out.
I could watch the series over and over again and not get tired of it. Maybe its because I grew up watching it.
Anyways, I'm doing the best that I can.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
