25yr....I have not read that book but it does sound like an interesting read. Right now I'm reading "Not Just Friends" but after that I may have to check it out. I like hearing your take on all of this and really like to hear all sides and all opinions because it gives me different insights that I may not have considered and I like to get as much information as possible. I know every week I talk to my IC it's amazing how he can spin things that have happened into a different light that I would have never thought about. Just to give you a brief synopsis on my sitch....W dropped the bomb at the beginning of the year with the ILYBNILWY and said she needed space to figure things out. I of course lost it....typical. We went to a couple of MC sessions together and she would close up in them and not really say anything and finally stopped going. I still see the counselor as my IC and he told me about DR and this site. About a month after the bomb W starts seeing a guy she had worked with (actually was her boss when they worked together). Said she never meant for it to happen it just did. He is going through his own divorce. That's over now. She says she isn't seeing anyone else but I don't really know...I have to choose to trust and believe her or not. Also, the IC says he thinks she is bipolar off of the times he talked to her and how her moods and reactions go...but he couldn't be sure unless he specifically worked with her more...just wanted to make me aware of it as a possibility. W never told me what was wrong in the marriage until recently although by the time she did I had figured it out mostly. She felt smothered by the marriage as after we had D3 I became totally co-dependent on her (I have a tendancy to become "Mr. Nice Guy" anyway and put my needs aside for the most part in a relationship...something I have recently realized). I am working on this with the IC and he has suggested that I make my feelings more known to W as that is a 180 for me and will help me to work on myself. Not be mean about it, accusatory, or trying to make her see things my way....but just to tell her how i feel about things sometimes.
So that's like the cliff notes version of things. I'm giving her all the space in the world right now and will see how things go. Went out last night and had a great time with my friends. When W came home so I could leave she looked at me and was like...you look nice! I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I said thanks and then she commented that I look so skinny now and I should eat something. I asked her if she meant i looked too skinny...like not healthy or something and she was like no...you look good. I'm jealous. So I said thanks and started to leave. She asked if I was coming back home afterwards or staying out and started to ask where I was going and then stopped and said that it was none of her business. I just laughed and said that if she wanted to know she could ask as I don't mind. Told her that I was going out with friends to watch the Cleveland/Orlando game and then we would probably end up shooting pool and having a few beers. Which we did. Sent her a text around 1am saying that I was at my friends house and was going to crash there since I had drank too much to safely drive home. Didn't hear anything back from her. Came home this morning and she looked kinda bummed but I didn't ask about it and just went about playing with D3 and just laughing and smiling which is so easy with D3 since she is a trip. W asked me about some bills she needed to pay and I told her then she got ready and left for work. She said she would call me after work to see how things were going. That's my day. No talk of divorce or moving out or anything. Honestly, don't think I'll hear anything else about that for awhile.
