he is back, i think

[Puppy Dog Tails]

so is this where i "give up"

is this where i throw in the towel . . .

No, you don't give up, but you DO drop the rope.

Have you read in DR/DB about "dropping the rope?" It's NOT giving up, but it is rather a tactic to regain your own emotional health, and just MAYBE it gets a response from the wayward husband.

Puppy

[mdoodles]

so by dropping the rope now, how do i proceed with the store?

i was just there for a few hours and was planning on going back later.

do i avoid him or just avoid relationship discussion?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Just R discussion. Keep it civil, courteous -- all business.

Picture yourself having a tug-of-war with him over the relationship. He pulls, you pull back. Then he pulls again; you pull, he resists you.

Well, just DROP THE ROPE. Let him pull it by himself.

[mdoodles]

ok, will do.

so i guess if he chooses to go out, i leave it alone. no questions.

i will do my own thing and see what happens.

im curious if i will hear from my lawyer this week that h is moving forward, or maybe, just maybe, he will cool himself down.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

ok, will do.

so i guess if he chooses to go out, i leave it alone. no questions.

Yep.

[mdoodles]

just went back to the store for a bit - i like to see the traffic it gets on my own, rather than rely on my stick in the mud husband to report it to me.

he was talkative to me, we only discussed the store and our son briefly and then i left on a high note.

im going to make some signs for the window and keep doing what i do for the store and play it cool overall.

[mdoodles]

ok how do i handle this -

my husband called me from work, told me he is going by his old apt tonight (where he was staying before he came home)...that he has some things to do near there and maybe meet up with one of his friends and then he will be home.

however, he added that he plans on coming home but if he has drinks he may stay there so he doesnt drive.

i didnt say anything. just ok, cant tell u what to do.

im not pleased, im pretty upset.

do i wait and see if he comes home and if not tell him he cant come and go?

and if he still has access to "his place" and wants to leave me, why isnt he going back there for good?

advice please.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I wouldn't say anything to him if he's home at a decent hour (midnight perhaps?), or, if he stays out all night (since he said he might). I wouldn't let him start coming home at 2 or 3 in the morning, however, as that is disruptive to you and your sleep.

Don't call him; don't text him. If he texts YOU, ignore it.

Do you have something you can go do tonite? Don't just hang around the house. That way, you'll be legitimately busy if he tries to contact you.

Puppy

[mdoodles]

so puppy, u dont think its a huge deal that he can choose to sleep home or not sleep home?

u really think i can let him do this? if u think so, i trust you on it.

i was prepared to say something tomorrow but i wont if u think this is par for the course.

i find it interesting that he has another place to stay at and is still choosing to be here in general, do we think that is a positive sign?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

We don't think about "positive" and "negative" signs when we're dropping the rope, dear.