Although my situation is different from yours, there are a few similarities.

My Husband also packed up his stuff and moved far away, 3000 miles from me and the kids to start a new life for himself.

When he said he wanted a fresh start he wasn't kidding.

He got a new name, a new job and a brand new life for himself.

My inlaws completely cut off from the kids when he left.

I read your other thread and agree with many of the things you have shared about the children.

Do you have a facebook account?

Perhap you could sign up, there are many of us over there, you can find me over there with by looking up Brand New Day.
There is even a DB fanclub!!!

There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.