I'm sort of an old timer here who pokes his nose in and out to see if I could offer help. I remember early in my situation where I didn't really feel I had anywhere to turn for advice. There's no sure fire advice to all the questions I had, but speaking with those who had been through the same thing was the next best thing to 'sure fire' advice that I could hope for.
Your getting a lot of good advice and I can tell by your progress on these post that you'll be fine no matter what happens. You'll struggle here and there, but the struggle will become less and less difficult for you.
Your 'strong, secure, powerful, assertive, and ambitious nature' will return in all it's glory some day. It's foundation will be stronger and more genuine from this experience. This, I promise happens regardless of how it turns out. Believe that and it will make things easier on you in the interim and during this transition in your life.
Hi Astimegoeson.
Thank you for responding. I appreciate folks like you so much. Hope you'll come by more. I need lots of help and support, especially from folks who are very experienced at this difficult stuff. I want to use this opportunity to better myself and strengthen myself, but sometimes I feel so alone...like I'm by myself in the world. I have my thoughts to keep me company, but they are full of regrets, remorse, and true sadness. Sometimes I do much better than at other times, and it's disappointing when I get low again. I just honestly wish I could have another chance...knowing what I know now. I know I'm getting good advice here. I know I'll be fine, over time...but it's hard to imagine right now that the regrets and remorse and sadness won't always be with me...and that means continued negative emotions. I don't want that. I hope to God that I'll be strong, powerful, secure, assertive, and ambitious in the future...I'm willing to do the work...but I still need God's help. I want my foundation to be stronger and more genuine...your promise that this will happen (from your own experience, I'm sure) gives me something to look forward to. I need help to 'let go', I guess, of the bad decisions and mistakes that I've made that hurt those that I cared about the most. I am so sorry for the way that I was. Sometimes, these regrets, and this remorse and true sadness, eat me up...and I don't know how to deal with it.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
