She's been reading a book this week, that my brother sent me. He wrote it, after his wife died of cancer at age 50, two and a half years ago. She had been keeping a journal after she'd found out she had cancer, and my brother got the idea to write this book of his OWN responses to them, and his own letters back to her, only it was after she'd passed away. It's a phenomenal idea, and a moving, powerful book, and my wife hasn't been able to put it down since it arrived in the mail earlier this week.
I'm thinking she may be thinking about what a special, "soulmates forever" relationship my brother and my SIL had. She's made some comments about that, and I'm feeling like she's comparing their love to ours, and knowing ours is somehow lacking.
Or maybe I'm just projecting.
In any event, she did comment about something in the book. My brother had given me a heads up before publishing the book, and asked me how I felt about him including it, and I told him it was OK with me -- it was his honest thoughts. I was with my family, up north, for my dad's 80th birthday party when I first received proof (via keylogger e-mail to my BlackBerry) of my wife's affair two summers ago. Here's the entry from the book:
We celebrated Dad’s 80th birthday this last weekend, and all of my brothers and my sister were in town for the event. My brother shared with us for the first time the challenges he is facing in his marriage. Problems have existed for a long time, but now the situation has gotten significantly worse. I wish I had known earlier and been able to be of some help to him and his family. Mostly though, I was saddened by his obvious pain. I thought of your loss of good health, my loss of you and of our loss of this time together, and I was still grateful for our situation as compared to his. We may not have celebrated our love to the full extend our numbered days would have encouraged, but we almost always knew it had and would sustain us - even through our difficulties. I knew you loved me, and knew you saw our marriage vows as sacred. I might get angry or frustrated, and/or know you were feeling the same, but I knew you would never betray our bond. I also know you were able to count on me in this same way.
No names – no further details included. My wife said to me two nights ago "It's a great book -- I can't put it down. . . there is one thing that's in there, though, that I wished he hadn't included though."
"What's that?" I played dumb.
"It's about you, when you went up for your dad's 80th birthday. About . . . you know, what happened with us two years ago???"
I just played dumb, asking if he'd mentioned any names, and she said he hadn't, but just wished he hadn't said anything at all. She said she understood what he was trying to say, about (his wife's) loyalty to him, but that didn't need to be said."
