I have to try to not tell him what I am doing in my life. It is none of his business. ARRG! What do I say when he asks? I guess, I could just be silent.....or just say, "its none of your business".
Maybe you can create some mystery. Instead of 'its none of your biz', say 'oh lots of fun things' or 'you'd be surprised' or 'too much to get into right now - gotta run'! Leave him wondering and noticing both your PMA and that you are GAL.
I woke up today feeling down. I think part of it is that although I was out all day, I did not really talk to anyone. I spoke with my friend who I was supposed to meet for 10 min! Otherwise, it was just in communication with the sales person at the checkout counter!
But on the upside....I was smiling all day and really did enjoy myself and I got some great buys. It was the first time I had been out with a total PMA and never felt like crying cuz I saw something or heard a song that reminded me of him.
Thanks for your replies, mnt_dreams and hopeful_cb. I like your suggestion of maintaining mystery! Part of what is really annoying to me is that he thinks he has me figured out! It is gets me riled! I don't even have myself figured out! How arrogant!
I was reading thru your posts, mnt_dreams, and thought it was interesting when I read about you and hopeful_cb battling with wearing your wedding rings......I totally go thru that!!! I wear mine still.
I will be driving to my parents tomorrow. I will be at their place for almost 10 days. But, I need to go thru my stuff and start organizing for my move coming up in 10 days! In the meantime, I can study for my exam and concentrate on my career.
One other thing that I always have wanted but never really got to, is to really put in some effort in my appearance. Not that I look crappy....but, my look is neat and functional........I would love to change that up!
I always talk myself out of it by saying 'I can't pull that off'....but, what a great 180 that would be.....to dress, lets say...whimsical....for 2 days of the week!
Anyways, not sure what my plan is today...but, will come up with one.
One other thing that I always have wanted but never really got to, is to really put in some effort in my appearance. Not that I look crappy....but, my look is neat and functional........I would love to change that up!
I always talk myself out of it by saying 'I can't pull that off'....but, what a great 180 that would be.....to dress, lets say...whimsical....for 2 days of the week!
That sounds like a great idea. I think (he$$ I know) people in a M get a little complacent. Try shooting for a look that is say...hot, not trampy but hot.
I remember when my wife and I sepreated but lived inthe same house. I went out and bought new clothes (dressed up more). MY neighbor who is a good friend saw me once and she commented on looking good.... my response was thanks I am trying to look good but every time I walk out I look at my wife and she looks hot! She is winning at this game LOL!
Like I say, even though she was the one that wanted to leave, seeing her in nice outfits got the blood flowing.... women have that effect on guys
Get a girlfiend to go out with you if you aren't use to dressing differently. they can give you a second oppinion and help you get just on the edge of your comfort zone.....or even better if you have a guy friend go shopping with him.
As a guy shopping isn't the same experience for me as most women I know BUT.... I have gone shopping with W and other girlfriends in the past where they were looking for one item like a dress for our date or dinner party and it was fun and exciting for me... SO enough sharing of info. Just liked your idea of spicing up your wardrobe a little especially if it is something you would think s fun!
thanks kenn....I actually did exactly what u suggested & went shopping with a girlfriend. So so much fun....
I got to my parents home tonight & found my husband's wedding ring! I just want to cry. He was here right before he gave me the D papers & I guess he left it. As if it wasn't enough of a disaster getting the papers....he also had to leave this for me too.....as if I need any more of an affirmation that it's over.... I get it.. What a way to end this day. I have not told my parents yet...I don't have any answers yet & there will be a million questions. & it feels better to not be focusing on this when I am talking to them. Damn how can I do any DB like this???!
thanks kenn....I actually did exactly what u suggested & went shopping with a girlfriend. So so much fun....
I got to my parents home tonight & found my husband's wedding ring! I just want to cry. He was here right before he gave me the D papers & I guess he left it. As if it wasn't enough of a disaster getting the papers....he also had to leave this for me too.....as if I need any more of an affirmation that it's over.... I get it.. What a way to end this day. I have not told my parents yet...I don't have any answers yet & there will be a million questions. & it feels better to not be focusing on this when I am talking to them. Damn how can I do any DB like this???!
I know.... That was a month ago now...& we have now agreed to table the issue: but geez that really hurts..... It's like he wants no reminder of me in any way. Sigh. It's really 1 step forward, 2 steps back!
orchid I hear your pain, the ring is a big kicker it seems like for many people. But look at it this way, the issue is 'tabled' for now and that is a positive and gives you more time.
Sounds like you are trying to have some fun, like the shopping, keep doing these things, they will only help your mood. Keep taking those steps forward no matter how small!
Me-27 H-28 M-2.5 yrs T-8.5 yrs No kids B 1/09 S 2/09
Thank you hopeful.....am not able to sleep tonight. It's small steps though. I have to to thru our things today.....it takes up 2 garage spaces. That ought to keep me very busy for the next several days!
Just writing to say hello. I've been away at a friend's for a long weekend, so I haven't had computer access.
When I read your recent posts compared to your first post, you seem to really have gained alot of confidence and are doing great things for yourself. I know there will be setbacks like you had today, but I think you are doing great.
Me: 48 H: 47 M: 16 years Separated: 4/24/09 3 cats, no kids My Story
Ouch! That hurts to see the wedding band left like that... But what matters is the bond between you, the band is just a symbol of that. I remember how I felt when I realized my h had taken his ring off. I wonder if they just don't know what to do, or how handle the rings... just like we don't know what to do about wearing ours during the S.
Good plan to work on the garage and keep yourself busy. That should be a good distraction. Hang in there!
