It doesn't matter what I think, or anyone else for that matter. What's important is for you to do what WORKS, and to do what's best for YOU. I think our skepticism comes from us seeing what he's done to you in the past, coupled with the old (but very true) adage that "we teach people how to treat us." We just don't want to see you fall back into your old habits in dealing with him, as they haven't been very effective up until now.
I'd advise two things:
1) ACTIONS, not WORDS (I'm talking about on HIS part); and
2) TRUST . . . but VERIFY.
If you can do those two things, and remain fairly detached, I think you can keep the accountability squarely on your husband's shoulders . . . where it belongs.
