NLT, I'm sorry that the memories tend to come on suddently. What happened to you has happened to so many over the years. They do not tell us they are unhappy or share w/us what is on their minds. We are to "assume" what they are thinking/feeling...can't happen w/out communication. We truly do not ever have closure to the situation and walk the earth thinking about it from time to time.
As for your cousin's wedding, go and try to have a good time. Your cousin will be there and will be smiling down on all of you. She's w/each of you every day and on the wedding day of her son...well, she'll be right there front and center.
Poison ivy is terrible this year. I think it's because of all the rain. I've been using Round Up to take care of the nasty little vine. It takes a number of applications to finally get rid of it.
N, please take care of yourself. Explore those feelings and then let them go. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
