Partner left after 9 yrs - he has come back?

[saffie]

Ali,

I am so sorry you don't seem to get what naej and walking back are saying to you. You seem to only believe what those who fawn over you say.

What was the point in having a consultation with Jody and then rejecting her professional advice about staying over? Don't you think that she is more experienced than you?

You may be ready for things to advance with your ex but from your description of him he hasn't even started to address his issues. Strikes me that a few months down the line you will be in problems again.

Piecing is for life if you want the R to work- I hope you realise that.

You imply that getting your ex back is what DB is about- if that is truly all it is about to you then I feel you have learned very little. It is mainly about being able to survive and be self contained and not needy.....whether that be with or without another person. You are WAY off that.

For the R with your ex to work he needs to be able to explain to you why he has felt/done what he has and you don't appear to be even considering that aspect. It takes TWO to make a R work in a healthy way.

I know you will brush this post off as you do all those that don't just cheer you along, but most of us that have made real progress have found in the long term it came from those that handed out the 2x4's or who made us feel uncomfortable in some way. If we feel uncomfortable about what a poster say's it's usually because they have hit a raw nerve.

You show little real introspection I am afraid. In terms of DB success I would put naej and many others who haven't gotten their ex's back way ahead of you, because of the people they have become.

I am glad you have another chance with your ex, but instead of this sounding like a healthy R this sounds like two needy people propping each other up with outside friends IRL pushing you together. To be honest I think Helen had a lucky escape and perhaps it was she who decided to end it as your ex sounds very high maintenance......like you.

You have a long ways to go and I wouldn't expect those in piecing to be any easier on you as we all know what hard work it is over there. Getting your ex back is only the beginning. One you have achieved that things get real tough.