I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I -- like you --am trying to get back into the journey of living, while living apart from my H. And, so I don't check every day either. I guess if we both check in once a week, maybe we'll catch each other.
Anyway, to answer some of your questions, my one year anniversary of being separated is coming up next week. Our M anniversary is May 26th, which is Tuesday, and he left on May 29th. Nice huh? After much terrible fighting etc.
In answer to your question, "Why do they not ask for a divorce?" My H didn't ask me. He just announced it that he was going to get one, and then left. He never tried to work on our M, although he says he did. He was in a great big hurry one year ago, but that was when he was seeing OW. I don't think he's still seeing her, and although I caught him with her, he claimed she was just a "friend."
Your #1 statement, is probably true in that my H never actually filed. He put together a marital settlement agreement and had it delivered to me on April 2nd. He came home one day and said, "just sign the papers," like he expected me to just cave in for him. But as of yet, the papers are not signed, and I have no intention of doing so at this point.
2. I don't believe in my case that it's for financial reasons because he did bother to tell me he spent $1,200 (in April) on his attorney, so I can only conjecture that he spent that money on getting his marital settlement agreement completed. And since in the state of Florida, it costs $500 to file, I can't see how he wouldn't be willing to spend $500 on filing if he would be willing to spend $1,200 on the agreement. It just doesn't make sense. What's $500 more, right?
3. Well, I guess you could look at it that way, but really... if you think about it, the judge is going to see that he is the one who left you, and therefore would probably want/make him pay for the D. It's all only conjecture, but it makes sense. D is a senseless rampage that a person, the WAS wants. But, it's the judge who has to make sense of it all, and that is the bottom line. I don't think #2 and #3 apply to my situation only because I think my H is socking away his money (he's always been secretive, and I can reasonably see him hiding enough to do well after our D). And #3 is just a ploy to ease their own guilt.
Someone on these boards once told me to do NOTHING that will allow him to ease his guilt. So, that also applies to us not to file, don'tcha think?
