Is it possible to hit yourself over the head with a 2x4? It has been a long couple of days. Sometimes it feels like I just get in to a funk from which I cannot get out of. This is added to my gnawing suspicion that there is an OM back in the picture. I would much rather know what I'm dealing with rather than having to guess.
I've been laying low trying to sort out what I want to do, not for her, but for me. I have been reading various threads all over the boards here, particularly the MCL and infidelity boards. The one thing that I keep noticing is that change happens when the LBS finally lets go of trying to control the situation. Or more to the point, when they finally quit trying to fix a broken relationship. I think this happens, because the LBS thinks the relationship is broken where the WAS is acting like the relationship is over. Maybe it is a semantic discussion, but that it does change my perspective on all of this. Thinking of it in terms of a relationship that is over rather than just merely broken helps in some weird way.
I have come to the conclusion that I haven't been acting like things are over. I've been trying to fix her; trying to get her to miss the way things were. Maybe she misses us. Maybe she's unhappy. Maybe not. But it really isn't my job to worry about that right now. She wouldn't tell me if it were true anyway. All I can do is to get on living my life.
I know that my W is going to contact me for something. She owes me a check. She'll stop it by the apartment and then linger to talk and catch up. She always does this. My question, for those more experienced, is how do I treat that interaction? I like talking with her, but I get frustrated that it seems like she wants to get her curiosity/security fix from me and then go back to doing whatever it is she does on her own. Do I shut down any talk about personal stuff? Do I just avoid R talk?
