Sugar - I think you are doing the right thing by giving it every try you can with your H. I pray that it works out great for both of you. It can. I'm just at the end of my rope with my sitch. I don't think I have it in ME to do the work, anymore. Like I said on my thread...there is a sadness in my heart because of this. When I spoke to H last night. I told him that it was confusing that one minute he was asking for sex and the next he was calling me a f'ing c**t. I just told him I was tired of being disrespected and mistreated by him. I wish it was different. I wish that we could have a good relationship for our daughter, at least. But, the man has some MAJOR issues and basically...I am just not willing to take the punches while he works them out. I've been a punching bag way too long.
Good luck with your surgery. I hope the necessity of it is not because of something really bad. Hang in there. I'll stop in on you more often. I would love to see where you are and where you are going.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
When I spoke to H last night. I told him that it was confusing that one minute he was asking for sex and the next he was calling me a f'ing c**t. I just told him I was tired of being disrespected and mistreated by him.
OMG, you need to stop that kind of behavior. Did you tell him that was inappropriate? If he's talking like that and won't stop, then you leave. That is so disrespectful. You shouldn't allow him to make you his punching bag--that's exactly what he's doing!!!
Sorry for the hijack Corey! I wish you well, I love your snarky self, and hope your surgery goes well!!! Keep us updated if/when you can... (((((Corey))))))
By all means...Hijack away on this one. Blindsided, you have come so far and are such an amazing woman, you don't deserve to be spoken to like that by anyone. Least of all the sorrya$$ child who call himself your H. You would nutroll if you heard someone speaking to K like that in the future, so show her now that its not ok and you will not engage with anyone who tries to treat you that way. Ok, lecture done.
Thanks ladies. The surgery is going to be a good thing. Its not bad, but I'm not willing to let it get really bad before I do it.
Snark...its what I do.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Great to hear it isn't a bad thing...about the surgery. As far as the way H behaves towards me...it used to really hurt my feelings. I would cry because I couldn't understand how someone I loved could treat me that way. But, now...it doesn't hurt. Now, I think....OW gets to deal with this crap from him. OW gets to be the one he is trying to cheat on. OW gets to put up with his attitude, laziness, mean spirit. OW gets to be the one he uses. She truly did me a favor...sad, but true. I once (just once) considered warning her....but, then I thought 1) she won't listen 2) she won't believe me and 3) Why should I warn the woman that helped destroy my M and family....she gets what she deserves.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Just thinking about you. Wondering how you are doing. I think I just noticed that you H's OW had his baby. I don't know if I knew that. Maybe I did. I need to find your old threads and read from the beginning.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
I couldn't make this $hit up if it was a soap opera!!! Ok, first I have been drinking, so if there are typos or incoherrent meanderings...thats my story & I'm stickin to it.
So I had to go to Traffic Court this am (becuase I have a probelm with my gas pedal and I got a ticket and WHATEVER!!!!) So I go and stand in the long assed line to get an appt. for traffic court (you go in the am to be told to come back in the pm) That makes SO MUCH SENSE!!! ANYWAY! I did that and then went to get a tea and when I got to work I went to silence my phone and there were missed calls from the OW. Mind you H had done the lunchtime drama thing with her on Wednesday because I told him I was done with the lying. I was surprised to say the least but I was game and tried to call her back. She didn't answer so I left a VM. She called me back but I was away from my desk. So I texted her and asked if she wanted me to call her then or later.
A lot of texts and calls between H and I and OW and I and she will call me after work. FFWD: I go to traffic court and take my DS13 to his meeting for his DC trip and H takes DD7 to her softball practice. I was weak and we did the rubby bumpy before he left and ANYWAY... H had said it wouldn't be pretty and OW was still mad about the VM I left when this all began FOREVER ago and I am over it. So she actually called me.
We talked for 1 1/2 hrs. and as much as I LOATHE to say it, she is not a horrible person. She is a woman that got herself into a bad situation and has been lied to repeatdly (Ummmm...hello, how familiar does that sound?) and now is at the same crossroads as I am. She loves this idiot and now realizes he has played BOTH ends against the middle. Long story short (read this as drunk and need to not type) both of our eyes were opened to just how selfish and duplicitious (I know your impressed) that he is. She told me many things I did not know and I told her things she did not know. I guess I'm not surprised, but I held out that Pollyanna hope that he wasn't the douchebag I suspected he was...(he is). We talked about everything. It was enlightening to say the least. After we got done I called him with a few of the finer details of what she said and he denied it. So I called her back and told her what he said. She waited awhile and then she called him and fronted him out about it. He did damage control, then she called me and told me what happened.
There was ominous silence for a while and I was texting him and he wasn't answering. I texted her and I learned she had went down to the cardroom to confront him and he wouldn't really talk to her, but he did say that he had "Made a Mistake and he would make things better." She had went down to the cardroom and he told her this. I got pissed and I went down ther myself.
You should have seen his face when he turned around and saw me standing there. PRICELESS!!!! He actually had the GALL to ask me why I was ther and not home with out kids? REALLY? You want to go there? Ummm, probably not. We talked outside and he denied most of what she said at first. He kept sayuing he wanted to come home, but he couldn't/wouldn't look me in the eye. We left it with me saying he needed to be honest and just tell me what he wanted and him saying he needed time (WHATWVWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I also told him that until he had an answer that he better not call me or come near me. I texted all of this to OW and we txtd for a long time.
It has been an eye opener for both of us. I would recommend it to anyone. We were able to clear up A LOT of the BS just between us and I believe we will continue to compare notes.
Hope some of this makes sense.
S&S
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
omg... i've only known you for such a short while... but we are in the same kind of pain...
PLEASE stop this right now... omg I cant tell you enough how much your hurting yourself, im actually bleeding inside thinking of you and i am worried of you.
please... do not talk to the OW anymore, ok... its not healthy, I know it might seem like some kind of revenge he deserves AND HE DOES, but this is doing so much hurt to you, and let me tell you something S. Shes an OW and he knew he was MARRIED she knew what she was getting into, STOP feeling for HER, she wants that an you are playing INTO HER HANDS!
this is not a three way relationship ok, its YOUR marriage and this OW has INTERFERED with that, you need to STOP TALKING TO HER AND I DONT CARE HOW SYMPATHETIC SHE SEEMS NOW, she might not be later after oh "GREAT SEX" with YOUR husband and HIM sucking up to HER!!! and thats what SHE will want!!!
your in a crisis. im asking you as one woman to another.. to please NOT speak to this ow anymore, it doesnt MATTER what he did to HER. this isnt a threesome! omg. shes just trying to USE you and get INFO from you!
you are in a horrible place. but the OW isnt going to help you. this is not your friend ok??? please DETACH. her sitch with your h is not YOURS... dont make it yours... her ills are not yours.. dont make them yours!
you are in a place i call "having too much information". your overloading. get RID of this person from your life!
i am praying for you, right NOW.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
