He is looking for some guidance. He said that he does want it to work but he has no clue how to make it work. How to stop it from happening since it has happened before.
He said he knows the Pastor will probably just tell him "She is your wife, you need to accept her as she is." I said you never know what he will say till he says it...
I really think he is looking for some hope. And since I have already spent 90 minutes with the pastor (and Dan knows that), the pastor already knows our situation, so Dan can't try to sugarcoat it. He knows Dan has cheated and has a porn habit. He knows that I am committed to forgiving/moving forward/staying married. We have a really smart Pastor, he is funny too and very 'real', that is why Dan and I like him. He doesn't stand up front and shake his fist at the congregation, but he doesn't tell us that life is just sunshine and roses once you become a Christian, either. He is very honest and up-front.
So that is my long-winded way of saying that it may not just wind up being one talk, but they have to start somewhere. I think talking to him will help Dan figure out what he wants to do one way or the other.
Kerry, I wouldn't say it is a big hurry to file. He has been checked out of our marriage for over two years now. He first slept with ow in May 2007, and was moving away from me earlier than that. He just isn't responding to setting a schedule for the kids or even doing this separation thing like a real separation so I decided filing would make it more concrete and help me enforce the boundaries. I told him last night, "Divorcing couples do not have dinner together 3 nights a week, go on vacation together, go to the movies together. That is what married couples do." So he knows I intend for all of that stuff to stop.
Ultimately, yes it would be great to have the kind of relationship (like Bruce Willis/Demi Moore) where you can get together as a family and get along. But they only do that a handful of times a year, not a handful of times a week...
