I think you are totally right.....and in hindsight, I should have said exactly that. I screwed up there! He has no right to quiz/comment/lecture or have any rights to my life. It is totally paternal! YUCK! It makes me so angry!
Well, as far as my self esteem and my marriage. I don't think that has much to do with him.....we all have weaknesses that we are trying to overcome and this is one of mine. I have always been dealing with the idea that I am not good enough. It has been there before I met him and it will be there after him. I am a work in progress.
I know I can do whatever I want to by myself. I just have to start acting and doing things that show that - in deed! I have started doing that this week.
I do not care if I disgust him or if I let him down or whatever. I will not apologize for who I am. I do not disgust myself and I don't want to be around someone who would think that of me.
We do not have kids.........luckily.....I can actually pick up my life and move forward. He does not need to know anything and it is my choice to bring him into my life.....even one percent.
If this has any chance at working....we have some major dynamics that we need to change! I am no longer interested in the R we have been having for the last year, at least!
I have to try to not tell him what I am doing in my life. It is none of his business. ARRG! What do I say when he asks? I guess, I could just be silent.....or just say, "its none of your business".
