So in all these wonderful threads and beautiful articles I read so much about sad marriages, those on the brink those getting better, people who walked out but came back...
but probably bc I cant really read them all, I havent read anything from women (or men!) who were truly utterly abandoned... not just left, but actually abandoned. I guess I mean by that, your partner left you and your children and dissappared and hoped very much you would never know where, and maybe like me you didnt know, for a long time... and your partner really never wanted to see you, the kids, ever again, and wanted you to be dead to them, and he/she to you and the kids.
I feel weird bc I have not once spoken to someone else who was truly utterly abandoned. its GOT to have happened to other people but I just cant find any and I am DESPERATE to connect to others who have felt this pain, and of your kids pain, admitting they dont even know where dad is. Birthdays and occasions go missed and there is nil communication, and they either abandon the rest of their family as well (mine did at first) or tell them to not tell you or the children where they are.
After a 16 yr marriage, this utter abandonment was horrible, utterly a nightmare, and, so devastating to my children; he gave them all up and never a word. No child support and heres the kicker: he really wanted us to suffer, and I will never know why.
Has anyone else here been totally abandoned? If so, how are you coping with it and what do you tell people? the biggest issue for me is shame. It seems to incredibly shameful that my partner of so long doesnt even want to speak to his own children or have them know where he is.
Is there any way of dealing with this in a healthy way? its so hard when there is no one to relate to this for me.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
