Wow! So he is staying with you? I assume... Well I know you are a woman of faith and I understand you offering kindness to the father of your child. Even if that is all it is...
How did you find that out? Did he just up and ask you??
g-I have to get out of here M-out of where? (I thought he might mean he was still at my house after dropping my mom off and had been waiting for me) g-here, city, state
That prompted a call from me. I told him that I understood he was very frustrated with the situation and that if he needed to go back to CA then that was just what he had to do. The original offer to stay in Marc's room until he could figure out something else was still open. He stunned me by taking me up on it. Good grief! I didn't really think he would do it. Not like I didn't mean it, but it still freaks me out.
I just need to make sure I don't fall back into any patterns of behavior. I need to keep living my life the way I have been, being independent, not backing down and giving in to everyone else's needs, focused on spiritual growth and self-healing.
He has his own demons and he needs to deal with them all on his own. The roof that is over his head has nothing to do with that IMO. Just because it's my roof.....eek!
The boundaries are going to have to be laid down quickly and clearly. Any idea how I do that without making it seem like I'm his mother? He needs to think of this as a roommate situation.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
There is no way I could let this man back into my personal life. He needs to be involved in Marc's life, but my life is my own. Hard to separate that while in the same darned house.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I just need to make sure I don't fall back into any patterns of behavior. I need to keep living my life the way I have been, being independent, not backing down and giving in to everyone else's needs, focused on spiritual growth and self-healing.
Hey, just make sure he gets a job doing SOMETHING - maybe that will be the small break that you need in your stress level (although I am worried for you...)
Hopefully saying something like this is just a temporary roommate thing and I need you to contribute around the house will be sufficient. Short and to the point.
And just breathe. It's okay sweetie.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Mish, hope all is "well" in your world. This is going to be a true test for you I guess, in terms of seeing how far you have come. Re the roof over his head, I would have done the same thing.
So it is a temporary respite, treat him with kindness froma distance,no fixing and no getting drawn back in to old patterns.
I hope you can take this. It is going to be hard. Make sure you have NO expectations of meeting a new man because he is the same person. He will not "protect your heart". He isnt capable of doing that. You are resposnible for you and make sure you treat YOU right. Good luck with this, Love K
I would probably have done the same too and would be dreading it.
