((Song)) thank you for making your statements more clear for me. I am really proud of you for the stand you took b/c I know it had to be hard. I am glad you do not feel defeated! You have given it to the One Who can do something.....if anyone can!

I like that SP's spunk...... Bet folks don't mess with that one, huh? Seriously, what was said there was good.

I understand what you said about forgiving yourself and I personally think that it takes a big person to admit that they were part of the breakdown of the MR.....if in fact they were. That is for you to decide. As I may have told you.....my H never took any responsibility for any part of the problems. That was very hard for me to overcome and get past. I knew I did wrong. I knew what my sins were. But, he is not perfect and he certainly did have blame in the beginning of the breakdown of our R. So, I had to forgive him.....even though he did not recognize his own faults or ask me to forgive him.....I had to do it in order to move forward. I think forgiving ourselves it the tough one, though. But, you can do it. You have faced it and now just forgive yourself by your "will". You may not "feel" it for a while, but everytime you start to feel like a failure or downcast in any way......just tell yourself that you have forgiven yourself and you aren't going to go back to that "place" of self-comdemnation again.

Take care, Song......

Sandi


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!