John, Are you able to take a few days off and just relax and enjoy time with your daughter? Do not spend the weekend upset about your W ? And yes, I know it is easier said than done...your daughter is such a big plus for you in this...if you can focus on her well-being you will find it will help you forget, somewhat, your own sad feelings, even more so in the early stages of this trip. Do not fall into the hole of blaming yourself for everything...you do not have to meet with you W to discuss the paperwork until you are ready...do not stop your investigation. Just because she has downloaded the paperwork doesn't mean your M is over. If you can take a week to think about this and talk to a lawyer you may have a different perspective on this...do not let this sour you on love and life. As many have told you on this board...you are a great man with many accomplishments. An incredible daughter, house, material items, few debts, retirement soon (if you wish), promotion is probable, etc.
Always, always, remember that your decisions are to better your daughters quality of life...do not let your hope to get back with your W give up your W responsiblities to care for your daughter...so often the male gives up everything hoping this will go away and thinking if he is nice his W will come back...your goal is to get everything you can for your daughter.
I know this goes against your nature...if you have a lawyer let them handle this...your conversation with your W should be about fixing your marriage...let the lawyers do the rest...if she is willing (through guilt) to pay the lawyers to include your fees then that is even more incentive for you to shoot for the moon.
Again, if you can, do not talk to her about the divorce Friday. Accept the papers, and tell her you want to review them yourself and have your lawyer validate. You will get back with her ASAP.
