WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 9

[MrBond]

If you want to do something constructive about your W, then why don't you write down some goals the DR way? For example, write down, she will initiate hugs with me when we are with the kids. Stuff like that. Even now I am re-reading DR and DB to narrow down my goals.

Those were the types of goals I wrote for myself. I think the first was "she will not get angry at me when we talk". And then I took steps to be sure she wasn't angry. Stuff like that.

I think alot of people here forget that DR and DB isn't a passive thing and that the goals you set do involve your spouse. That's why many people are in "limbo" because they are so busy working on themselves that they forget to write goals that involve their spouses.