WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 9

[confusedinpa]

You're doing fine. Just stop being in such a rush to contact her. You mention that you've started trying to GAL with your hobbies and whatnot, but most of the time you're out with your W or talking about her.

It's only been a month since she left and believe me, I know how it feels. Remember what I said about patience? You mentioned on my thread about posing the question to my W if she wants to work on things or not. Well, right now she's not at that place and is definitely not as open as your W. So I await for the right time to come up.

If you keep obsessing about what your W thinks or when it would be a good time to do something, you're going to keep tying yourself in knots.

Take it one day at a time like you have been doing and enjoy the time alone. See it as a time for self growth.

Stuck808,

Thanks for the 2x4. I've noticed this week that I've been much more jumpy at contacting her. I think her call last Friday and this past Tues gave me more/false hope where in reality it might have been cake eating by her part. I've really got a grip on myself and get back to Dark/Dim when we're apart and the BEST CIPA when we are together.

We do seem to spend a lot of time during the first 4 weeks of the separation. It seems like we do some family thing about 2 times/week and she calls me to talk several nites/week (mostly non-relationship stuff). I'm not complaining about it as I'm sure I would be hurting more if we weren't doing those things.

I have been taking the time alone to get a life. On Sundays, after she picks up the boys, I go to church, then to the gym. Then I do the yard work around the house and would call a friend to go grab some beer and wings every other Sunday afternoon/nite. On Monday's I would clean the house and get the laundry done after work so that everything was ready for when the boys came back. On Tuesday nite, I go to the gym and relax. On Weds, I have my individual therapy and my 3 year old's baseball. Thurs, Fri & Sat I have the boys so those nites, it's daddy and boys bonding time. That's how I've been spending my weeks. My 7 year old's soccer starts up on Tues & Thurs in about 4 weeks so that is going to make it even more busy.

I know if I posed the question to my wife now, her answer would be different. Back when I did, she had said it was to have/experience positive moments together. I think right now it would be that she doesn't want to work on it as she hadn't changed her mind.

Thanks again for the 2x4. I gotta get my head back in the game. For my boys. And for ME.