25- It may be futile to say "I get it" but, I do. I've got some good stuff brewing today. Worked on my biz because that is what is in front of me and can bring in some money. Formulating how I could reduce expenses and move so that money I earn plus support will keep me out of the red. That, I've realized has been the impasse, with tens of thousands of dollars in overhead, what would the point be of making scraps? BUT, if I have my own budget and my own place and I make enough to cover my monthly nut, I'm fine.
I have decided, and nothing to do with H, I need to go LIGHT. I need levity, I need to start laughing and smiling and engaging in life in the simple ways that bring me pleasure and it doesn't take much. A hike, friends, my kids, writing...I'm getting there.
So, I am going to commit to not posting about H drama for 3 days...that's my first commitment and I am taking each task I have one at a time.
Yes, it helps that money came in and I can lift that cloud temporarily. Makes mental room for focus on my onward actions.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Yes. Good day, good night (went out with a friend and had fun). And laughed about M...which was so great for me and friend nearly spit out her wine. "Levity." One of my new mantras.
Poetry. I have a treatment I'm working on. Short stories. And, I do some writing for my biz (still paranoid about being specific although it is a bit too late for that)... oh, and endless rambling on Divorcebusting.com (no pay :().
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Look in the mirror and repeat to yourself that you are a beautiful woman inside and out. Think it, believe it, toss your hair and live it. You are all that and more - not because of him - but just because you are YOU.
I would not want to be in his head right now. It would only hurt my head. Your head is far more fun.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Good day so far. Blasted music and laughed/sang with kids on the way to school today.
Dealt very matter-of-factly with some "stuff" that came up and subsequently was upbeat and jovial in a sitch where it could've gotten hairy.
Ran into a woman at the market who I used to be friendly with. She went through D, similar kind of sitch and is happily remarried and wanting to offer support. Coincidence? Nope.
Ran into a woman at the market who I used to be friendly with. She went through D, similar kind of sitch and is happily remarried and wanting to offer support. Coincidence? Nope.
Coincidence? I think not. Nostradamus predicted this would happen.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
The great thing about it is that it diffuses my fear so much to speak with someone who lived through the D, is still dealing with a high drama ex and is happy with her life. Always good to see that what was once my worst nightmare is really manageable.
Not even about H or what I should do, its about me facing down that fear and doing what I need to do step by step...I'm getting it. Breathe...I'm slowly getting it.
