Thanks fo your warm thoughts and hugs. I haven't thrown in the towel yet on trying to be happy but it's getting more difficult. I have to remind myself that I have a lot more than some people and everyone goes through things like this.
My initial reaction about XH being dishonest and immature was like yours. I thought "What a woos...it's not like I call all the time and this was something harmless that he should be able to be "for real" about"...but I have since reconsidered. Perhaps his GF got cr@pped on in the past and she has set forth boundaries for acceptable behavior...or perhaps he knows himself and with what happened in the past, perhaps he is trying to protect what he feels is a good thing now...and really there is no reason to maintain a R with your X spouse when there are no children involved. Perhaps if I had a couple more "rules" in the M, I would not be where I am today. In a perfect world it would be great to maintain a cordial R with an X but it rarely works out that way.
I have contemplated sending some sort of "goodbye" to XH and telling him how I feel. Just that I wish things would have worked out differently but all the best to him and that I do still care for and love him. Short and sweet. I have not decided yet. I am the sort of person that needs a concrete action or statement "out loud" to follow through with things of the heart. If it has been spoken or acted on, then it will be done. That would be my way of being free once and for all because it doesn't seem to be working the other way. I have been advised to not continue contact, even by e-mail, but not do the final farewell either. Honestly, by doing that I may be seeking a reaction from him and that's not a good reason to do it. Still thinking about that one.
