My situation #9

[steady]

Steady as he goes.

Well my W pulled some crap the other day with our money. She decided she was going to setup her own checking account and put her paycheck directly in there. Then she said she wants us to split the bills based on our incomes - 60/40. I told her I needed to speak to my lawyer. Of course, she got annoyed about that and started to go into a freakin discourse...lol. I told her I said I needed to talk to my lawyer and that was that - no discussion about it until then.

I called my lawyer and he told me I didn't need to give her any money. He also said the judge is not going to look on her actions favorably. He said if the mortgage doesn't get paid, it doesn't get paid. Then he said, tell her that she needs to pay the monetary amount that is the difference in our paychecks. Then after she does that, I pay 50/50 on the bills. So that's what I told her I was advised. Again, she wasn't too thrilled about that either.

Then she tells me her brother (who works in finance) told her that based on finances alone we should be splitting the bills 50/50 - and not even take into consideration the difference in our paychecks. Of course, I started to boil up inside and wanted to tell her to tell her brother to go (you know what) himself, but I refrained and bit my lip. It was the higher road. The fact is it doesn't matter what her brother says, or anyone in her family/friends circle for that matter. Instead of reacting, I thought about it and then acted by doing and saying nothing.

She has a lawyer appointment tomorrow to discuss the letter my lawyer sent to her lawyer about the forensic psychological analysis for the custody issue. I don't think she knows yet that my lawyer put her mother and father into it by demanding they go through the analysis also. She is going to freak out I think when she finds this out. Oh well. She wants to play hardball so I just go with the flow in the direction she is pushing things.

I just give it an extra push in her direction.

I'm doing pretty well. Had a rough night last night trying to wrap my head around how she is treating me. My therapist said she's treating you horribly and it impacts you. I told her it does, not as much as it used to, but it still knocks me off balance. I actually had to get in my car last night and take a drive to decompress from it all. It's amazing how someone can take 9 years of being together and 7 years of marriage, and two children and then act the way she is acting. I really can't fathom it.

She's out with her girlfriends from work right now so I had the kids tonight.

Everything for the S/D is moving ahead slowly and I know it's really pissing her off that it's not moving as fast as she wants it to move. But that's her problem, not mine.

I'm just riding the wave and letting life take its course. It doesn't need my help.

Anyway, that's the update. Thanks all for sticking with me through all of this. Now I have to go read up on some of my peeps.