PM Thread #5 - Hope new plan works

[25yearsmlc]

Well this does suck...even if it isn't "new" info, it hurts like hell to hear it.

Hugs....(Sigh) etc.

I will say that the contempt thing does pass and from what I know, maybe a bit faster than your c suggests. But hey, we didn't hear what your h told your c. Bet he said a mouthful as he was peaking in his justifications. Thing is, down the road as your genuine changes are made, your "data" won't match his data; ie his excuses for leaving. And what will he think and do then? Oh, I know, regret it OR say "she does that NOW but when WE were blah blah blah"....and it'll nag the heck out of him to know that it COULD have worked. Or he'll do like my ex bil did and ask to come back. Alas my older sister had met someone else and she IS happier.

Go figure. Don't underestimate what you offer a man. Not that you MUST be with one, but you'd be surprised at how many decent guys are out there who just want a fun loyal companion. And God help me for saying this stupid cliche, but hey, KIDS ARE RESILIENT!! I hate saying that b/c it's the LINE of the WAS....but you know, your kids are going to be around so many other kids with single parents or blended families. My kids are unusual in that regard--seriously I think my d20 is in the minority of her friends. About 6 or 7 out of 10 are divorced or remarried so when we had our "issues" she did NOT feel out of place. I think her friends are struck that we are together, as is she sometimes. (Me too come to think of it ;))

You will heal, you will love and laugh again I swear. Keep posting, there are still storms ahead. But I FEEL as if you are through the hardest part in a way. Like limbo is over. You can close the door now, and mourn the loss of your M. Someday, maybe the door will be UNLocked by some big actions from him. If you stay dignified and calm and approachable, while still protecting yourself and your kids, who knows?

You can keep the road home paved and smooth AND still move on. Make sense?
Shoot, sometimes that is what it takes, but it's not a tactic; it's a change. For real. For you. Try hard to keep visualizing yourself happy WITHOUT him...be detailed and specific. That is your future.
((( hugs!! )))

(( j ))