How do I not let this control my every thought?

[Travis]

sandy,
I really do believe people can change, but I don't know that she could ever change enough to make me allow her to come back. Too many bridges have been burned. To this day, she still won't admit the affair, but she can have my kids spending the night there, him pick my kids up at daycare, and she brought his mother with her to pick my kids up on Mother's Day?
There is nothing I hate more in this world than for people to lie to me. And to have the one person I loved more in this world than anyone besides my children lie, time and again, right to my face makes me sick.
I've been doing a good job of detaching the last few days. It's hard, because I have to contact her for my kids and I feel like when I call her about them, she's still feeling like I'm trying to get hold of her for other reasons. I only ask about pick up times and all that jazz and that's it, but the fact that I have to call her every day or every other day drives me nuts. My job doesn't have a set schedule, so we always have to get together to discuss arrangements.
The bridges that have been burned can never be rebuilt, I'm afraid. I will never say "never", but very small chance. Whoever said love conquers all never had a cheating spouse that uses their kids as ammunition. There were times over the years that i even felt like my family loved my WAS more than they did me. That's how much she meant to my whole family. No she does this to not just me, but my kids and my whole family.
I'd be a liar if I said part of me didn't still love her, after all, it's only been 2 1/2 months since I found out about OM, but I don't think I'm capable of forgiving. OM I could have forgiven her for if she would have told me and we really tried. all the other b.s.? I just don't think it's possible. So I'm working really hard to keep busy and find things to do that allow me to not think about her/us when I don't have the kids. When I have the kids, you'd think I'd think about her more, but I actually don't. We just enjoy our time together and then it's over before we know it.


Thanks for your input.