He is proposing putting in his notice and thinks that he can cancel it and stay. What he can't do is sign his lease and then ask to leave. I also think he could risk it and then move somewhere else but he doesn't want to do that one. That is why i decided not to take this on and leave it to him to decide because it is up to him to know what he is willing to do, and what he won't do. I know that we don't function well when things are left undecided or decided at some future date. We both like to know what we are doing when. Oh, I guess we do have something in common.
Today he comes in my office to tell me he is getting the notice to make a decision - I reminded him that I won't talk about it at work but later. He responded defensively and suggested that we will live apart for another 16 months and probably will want a D then. He didn't have his ring on and gave me some BS about it - had it in his pocket and put it on. I reminded him that the future was mostly up to him - that he either figures out how to spend time with me or not. Can't advance a relationship by distancing a person.
Since we took a long weekend I wondered when or if any plans were still on? He got defensive again and suggested that he is willing to do anything I just have to call him. At lunch I invite him to join me and he seemed surprised but distant, and stopped by later in the day briefly.
Still feels like the same stuff. I know he wants to be with me so why the distancing all the time?
