Schnarch has been a big eye opener to me too. I've realized the sitch can make or break intimacy before it even starts and when you change your dynamics for the better, the intimacy will improve. Remove the negative weight of power/control issues, anger, sadness, and throw two independent and willing adults together and see what happens.
There was nothing wrong with either one of us; just the weight of too much baggage. Future rolls-in-the-hay will prove it.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
