I put a lot of the blame on myself for why she left. I was too wrapped up in myself to realize that she was hurting and checking out of the M, and it was only after the bomb that I was able to see all the things I could have and should have done differently. 20-20 hindsight, or more accurately stated, too much too little too late.
Song, I can relate to this. We messed up. And our wives left us because, after trying so hard for such a long time, they gave up. They quit the marriage. We didn't realize the damage we were doing at the time, and we lost our wives...and our families were broken apart as a result of it. That's the reality. Sugar-coating any of it won't help us...we need to be honest and shoulder what we've done; apologize; learn from it; and make the necessary changes in ourselves regardless! I think we've done that...and that's all we can do. I wish we had made these changes years ago. We didn't. We have to keep on living though, and be the best men and fathers that we can be. It hurts...bad. I know...the regret and remorse is a killer. I think that God has forgiven us, and I, like you, ask Him to help me forgive myself. I also pray for the hurt that my wife has and I ask Him for healing for her, and I pray for our kids because of the pain and uncertainty and insecurity that they have experienced as a result of all of this. Reading what Coach wrote on my thread about 'dropping the rope' kind of puts things in perspective that makes it easier to understand. Just wanted you to know that there are others who know how you feel.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
