I guess you cold call it self-victimization and blame, or, you could look at it as me taking ownership for my part of what happened. I fully acknowledge that I had a part in it, and I need to forgive myself for the part that I had in the failure of the R before I can begin to forgive her. At least that's what they said in the support group meeting I went to on forgiveness - First ask God for his forgiveness, then ask Him to help you forgive yourself, then ask for help and willingness to forgive WAW.
Of course the D is all her, but the A,B & C that precede D, we both have a part in.
