Did anyone go through this?

[JMC]

Despite ALL this, I still have feelings for H. And I'm hoping for everything to somehow get better... And when I remember what he did to me, I hate myself and I even feel embarrased that I still do have feelings for him!!!!!!!!!!!

I can relate to your feelings of embarrassment, but 13+ years with someone is a considerable amount of time. Do not beat yourself up over those feelings.

As it concerns your other drama - lying on divorce papers, MIL involvement, refusal by doorman or locks changed - no, I did not experience that kind of behavior. I did uncover physical and emotional affairs and subsequent lying until confronted with the smoking guns, my ex-w was fairly 'reasonable' in the illogical universe of no-fault divorce.

Is there an OW? Why all the negative involvement from the MIL?