My new trick is just to copy and paste and use a color to highlight my statements...thanks to 25 (instead of quotes).
Umm, I am not saying our sitches are the same but there are similarities. The thing is that you are believing what he is saying...that doesn't make it reality.
Now, I get it with the finances and the showing more interest in his job (big one for my H) AND, this is a tough call because, at least in my case, H's feelings of insecurity and overwhelmed-ness are far beyond anything I can heal or accommodate (learning this the hard way)...I would venture to say that depending on YOUR comfort, you can listen and show some interest BUT the main thing I see in both sitches is that we have to be strong, work toward self-sufficiency and MAYBE that will lift some of the burden for them and maybe not but what other option is there?
Listen to 25, I have been flailing mostly due to the juvenile and enmeshed nature of my R. Still, I have some insight as I'm living it too, in my own way.
Your last post on my thread was awesome and it takes strength to maintain and of course, growing and changing hurts. The big mistake I make and I see others making is just wanting the S to come back, no pain, no growth, just make it all ok. And quite often S leaves again...already happened in my R, 6 years ago and he came back after 5 weeks and was so contrite. Now, here we are again. NOT saying this will be you, just saying without major changes, the R can backslide pretty easily.
Find the actions that fit with that wonderful woman you see your self as...actions, not words (smacking myself as I type).
