Trying to detach from the madness!

[blindsided1]

SO - you need to concern yourself less with H and more with your needs for you and the kids. YOU are not going to make him be who you want him to be no matter how much you beg, cry, scream, get angry, pray. This is his show. He has to direct it. Don't enable him. Go about your life as though he is an accessory. Set up the boundary with the CS. You can't afford to take on the extra burden of not having that money. I am in the same boat. H can pay a $2700 rent, new car, new motorcycles, new quad, Home Depot, BofA, Chase, Cell phone, food, golfing...he doesn't seem to have a problem paying what suits him. But, he can't give me a dime of his $7000 back pay from UI. It is hard. It is. I am struggling with the CS and going to CSS. But, I have no choice....I MUST do it for K.

Be careful about getting angry over WHY he visits his daughter. He visits. If it's to ease his guilt or a show....that's his issue...it won't relieve the guilt...guaranteed.

My father was an alcoholic....died from it at 59. My SIL is currently an alcoholic at 41...has been for over 10years. 2 children who are completely screwed up over it. A husband (my bro) that hates her and her addiction but stays for the kids. She finally hit somewhat of a bottom and is now in outpatient recovery, but also on meds (I think it's trading one addiction for another, but....)it's working.

You do for YOU and your daughter. Let H take care of his sh!t. You'll feel better. You'll be happier. He's not going anywhere. So, let go. Be free for awhile....you deserve it.